What the World Needs Now...

IS YOU.

I'm going to be completely honest and transparent.   This blog was supposed to be a celebration about the upcoming Magic & Medicine flower essence training happening this weekend.  I love flower essences... LOVE them.   I am REALLY excited about the training.  So, I was going to write a blog about the difference between flower essences and essential oils, and I was going to share stories of the profound shifts they facilitate.  

But everytime I went to write, I kept seeing images of Alton Sterling's son weeping.  

I couldn't write.  My excitement felt inappropriate, and I started feeling despondent.  sad.  angry.  distracted. powerless.  unexpected tears would well up.  As my heart wept for humanity, I felt even more disconnected from my purpose.  

In my practice, so many came in yesterday feeling the same way.   Eyes slightly glazed over, distracted and unable to focus.  Some felt almost numb, while others' muscles tensed in a hyper-viligent state of fight or flight.   Secondary trauma, which is the emotional duress that results when an individual witnesses the firsthand trauma experiences of another,  is REAL. 

I remember reading somewhere that when a mouse dies on a trap, it energetically sends out a message to its fellow mice colony so they can avoid the same trap.  A telepathic "don't eat the peanut butter!" of sorts, which is why you have to keep switching the bait.   

I believe that we as humans are no different.  I believe when one of us is affected by crimes of hate, we ALL are.  We receive the message- yes through social media, but also deep in our bodies.  

The question is:  how do we stop eating the peanut butter?  

There are no easy answers, but I personally always turn to flower essences when my heart is aching. When my mind needs clarity.  When my soul needs solace.   Here's whats in my medicine cabinet right now:

Star of Bethlehem Flower Essence:  For any type of shock and trauma, Star of Bethlehem flower essence helps to reconnect the body and spirit for a sense of renewed wholeness.

Borage Flower Essence: Creates a sense of buoyancy in the heart when it is weighted by grief or disappointment.

Mountain Pride Flower Essence:  Helps us respond to injustice with clarity and conviction, while staying connected to our soul purpose.  

As I slowly, gently and lovingly come back to myself, I am reminded of my purpose. I am reminded that this ancient medicine is needed in times like this.   I am inspired to be an agent for change, and allowing space for RIGHT ACTION to reveal itself. 

May each and everyone of us find the connection between our personal purpose, and the soul of the world.  We are the ones we've been waiting for.  

A Word on Trauma

Over the past few weeks, my conversations with my girlfriends have gone something like this: "There we so many cops in the room- I started shaking, I couldn't breathe, and I had to leave the room"  "That could have easily been me- I'm a smart, educated woman and I know my rights''  'I'm not sure how I can be at work and pretend like this doesn't affect me, and go on like 'business as usual',  as if I'm not hurting." Now, I am lucky to travel many spiritual circles, where love is love.  In fact, when the Sandra Bland story broke, I was in a yoga training in Costa Rica with 30 goddesses of every hue under the sun. But I don't live in a colorless world.  Yes, all lives matter. But the fact that we live in a climate where we have to specify that "black lives matter"... well, that also matters. In activist communities, we've known the assault on young black girls to be psycho-spiritual (insert Nikki Minaj, the politics of image, and the doll test).  The question of survival has often been focused on black men, from Emitt Till, to Trayvon Martin to Michael Brown.  Such much so that when I go running in my neighborhood, I always raise my hands into plain site when I pass cops so I won't be mistaken for a black man running in the streets.  These are strange times, indeed.   But the Sandra Bland murder raises a new fear for mamas of girls- especially sassy, fearless puffy haired brown girls.  As Lois Frankel points out in her book Nice Girls Still Don't Get the Corner Office, "When women of color, particularly African American women, are assertive, they are wrongly accused of being 'angry'...   and they are categorized in a way that disinclines them from speaking their mind in the future- which just might be the purpose of the accusation to begin with."  I wonder how many of us have pursed our lips and narrowed our eyes instead of speaking up over the last few weeks.   In our offices.  In check-out lines.  In our homes. Yesterday, my daughter ran to see where the sirens were coming from- out of innocent, child-like curiosity. I screamed so loudly that that it jolted her, followed by a not-so-age appropriate rant about how dangerous that was.   In that moment, I saw how trauma is intergenerational . And how our fear will always limit our freedom. Like many of my friends and colleagues, I have watched the videos over and over again.   They are everywhere on social media, and in true Fire Element fashion, bringing consciousness and awareness to that which has previously been hidden and secret.   The world is watching, and it keeps us from forgetting.  But the flip side is that the constant borage of images and news stories also contributes to a form of secondary trauma- which is the emotional duress that results when an individual hears about or witnesses the firsthand trauma experiences of another. My film students and I experienced this back in 2006, when we traveled to New Orleans 6 months after Hurricane Katrina and witnessed the devastation and political neglect of the ninth ward.  The symptoms of secondary trauma mimic those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including symptoms such as: intrusive thoughts or images chronic fatigue disturbed sleep unexplained sadness or weepiness poor concentration second guessing or indecisiveness  hypervigilance shame  fear

Fire's Overwhelm

Feeling a little... nuts?

At first I thought it was me.  I was gearing up for a three week spiritual journey- the longest I've been on since my daughter was born.  I was consumed with projects that needed to be completed before I left, making sure my patients had flower essences and fun assignments to do while I was gone, and coordinating the logistics of childcare.  Finding a cat sitter for three weeks nearly sent me over the edge. And this all coincided perfectly with the end-of-school year flurry of recitals, graduation parties, and  celebrations.  

Then I realized, we're smack dab in the middle of the Fire element. The summer solstice is the annual height of Yang,  the energy of fast movement, activity, expression, and heat.   I began to notice how many of my patients would look at me with a blank stare, as if they were trying to remember what day it was, when I asked how they were doing.  Just like how all the bees and flying insects swarm around on a hot summer day, the Fire element inside of us can sometimes feel like a swarm of activity in our brains.

And I was struck by elegant wisdom of the FIve Elements, and how each element gives a different flavor to our experience.   

Water's overwhelm stems from fear- usually fear or anxiety about  if not having enough time, money, or love. Wood's overwhelm is often frustration about the inability to change something that needs to change.  Metal's overwhelm shows up when we need to release something we're not ready to let go of (be it a job, relationship, or clutter), and Earth's overwhelm looks like taking on too many responsibilities without taking time to nourish ourselves. 

Fire's overwhelm? Being flooded with ideas, inspiration, activity.  It's a packed schedule and fitting more into a day than even the longer hours of sunlight can accommodate. It's dreams on 1000, or having a hard time going to bed because there is Just...  So... Much...  To... Do...  And most of that to-do list is fun and exciting, making it easy to sacrifice sleep and rest.  Fire's overwhelm is also the burnout that follows when the body has finally had enough of our shannangans.

Here are some of my favorite flower essence for your regularly scheduled seasonal madness:

Present Presence:

Present Presence has Star Tulip, a beautiful Yin flower that helps us to calm down, slow down, and be present when the crazies creep in. 

Goddess:

Goddess has a flower in it called Indian Pink, which I call the "the eye of the storm" flower. It helps us stay calm and focused when life whirls around us.  Goddess creates a sense a calm and helps us prioritize our to-do list when we are filled with creative fertile genius.

Oasis:

If you tend to burn the candle at both ends, Oasis flower essence helps us to replenish. Sometimes, it helps us get the rest we need when burn out sets in.  It can also give our hearts and inspired boost when we've been down and out for too long. 

I hope that however and wherever this summer finds you, you make it magic.

Bleeding Heart Flower Essence: The Wounded Lover

Photo Credit: Richard Katz

Positive qualities:  Loving others unconditionally, with an open heart; emotional freedom

Patterns of imbalance: Forming relationships based on fear or possessiveness; emotional co-dependence

(from The Flower Essence Repertory by Patricia Kaminski and Richard Katz)

Planetary Influences:  Venus, Moon
Elemental Alchemy:  Earth, Fire

Bleeding Heart is by far one of the most used flower essences in my practice.  Why?  Because so many of our wounds- and much of our personal evolution- comes through our intimate relationships!  The flower actually looks like a little heart.  Read on to learn more about this amazing flower essence and it's role in relationships...

The Spirit of Summer: The Fire Element

     

In ancient Taoist philosophy there are five elements- Water, Wood, Fire, Earth, and Metal.  Each element has its own physical, emotional, and spiritual associations.  Elemental Alchemy is the process of studying how these elements are working in our own lives, and using nature's wisdom to create  balance and achieve our goals.

Yin and Yang, represented in the symbol on the left, are the two opposing forces of nature that create harmony in all things.   The summer is associated with the Fire element, the height of Yang. Yang is associated with movement, heat, energy, spirit, and light- so Fire is the archetypal Yang energy, just as Water is the archetype for Yin.  Here are some more associations with the Fire element: 

At the Heart of It All

I have a love-hate relationship with Valentine's Day.  When I was in Grad school, we studied how the De Beers company literally fabricated the engagement ring phenomenon to boost diamond sales (don't believe me?  click here for the science!).    All this talk about love and romance, as if love isn't hard work that has to be cultivated year round.  Chocolate becomes comfort food for women feeling the lack of true love in their lives- married or single. I'm not sure if it's true, but I read somewhere that there are more arguments and break-ups on Valentine's Day then any other day of the year.  And then there's red and pink hearts everywhere!!!  Give me a break.

But then there's the other side of me that LOVES this month dedicated to love!  i love the pink and red everywhere- there's a 'girly girl' deep, deep inside that gets a lil' bit excited by lace and frills.  I love those little message heart candies- they are DELICIOUS and... dare I say? Slightly addictive.  And yes, I understand that true love requires hard work, commitment, generosity, forgiveness, and compassion. Not for the faint of heart, for sure. But I love  the opportunity to break out of the mundane routine-  spicing up our relationships by turning up the romance, turning up the sexy.   

But I most of all I love Valentine's Day because i've made those little hearts my personal reminder of a beautiful, sacred philosophy:

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Flower Essence Massage Oil Recipe

Being a sensual woman means engaging all of your senses!  Our senses of smell and touch are very connected to our sensual energy, and self- massage is a great way to tell your body how much you love her.   If you are new to tapping into your sensual side, or want to explore ways to deepen your experience with Feminine sensual energy, I recommend the Sacred Sexuality: Discovering the Goddess Within online course, which includes great exercises that would work well with this oil.


Here's how to make your own flower essence self- massage oil in four easy steps:

Spirit of Summer Pt. 2: Connection & Intimacy

This month I have been reflecting on the humble radiance of candles.  We light candles  on our alters before prayer or meditation to connect us to divine forces within and around us; we light candles during healing treatments to help us focus inward, and we light candles in our bedrooms to open the way for sexual intimacy.  These examples show us that one aspect of the Fire Element is all about connection.  

The summer heats up with sensual fire as we venture out doors wearing less and showing

more. While all of the Elements play a role in our sexuality, it is the Fire element that brings the heat to "wield divergent elements into one".  Through our sexuality, we can experience the ultimate merging of ourselves into another, a union that can bring us an ecstatic connection with the divine.  The mystery traditions such as Tantra, Taoism, and those of Ancient Kemet each had disciplined practices for cultivating sexual energy for the purpose of sacred union. 

The Spirit of Summer: Confidence & Joy

Back in the day when I was a cheerleader, we used to have a cheer that went something like this:
"Smile, Sparkle,  Shine it gets 'em every time-
Smile. (clap)  Sparkle. (clap) Shine!"

(ummm... yes, i still remember the words and the movements!) 

Now that we are in the heat of summer- the season of the FIre Element-  that cheer has bubbled up from the recesses of my memory.  Why? Because that what the Fire Element represents in us:  the ability to sparkle and shine just like the summer Sun long into the evening hours. 

In the summer flowers blossom into their unique beauty and glory, just as our Fire element

controls our ability to share the uniqueness of our being with the world. Our hair, our personal style, our posture, and even the sound of our voice can convey to others:  i love being me! 

Fire's emotion is joy, an expansive energy that reaches out to embrace all it touches.   Summer is alive and vibrant as we connect with our friends and head outdoors for concerts, parties and other social events. Joy is contagious- and the Fire Element allows us to radiate joy to everyone in our presence.